


It's Alright by Mother Mother

by NoPasswordFound



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Body Horror, But not really??? IDK, He get s one but it's not the end :), Hurt Morality | Patton Sanders, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mentions of Suicide, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Vomiting, character cuts themself but its not sh, i guess??, it's not stomach contents, kind of, light sides can be interpreted as unsymp, unreality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29170506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoPasswordFound/pseuds/NoPasswordFound
Summary: Patton Sanders has hurt people. How is he supposed to apologize?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	It's Alright by Mother Mother

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn't make a lot of sense but I like it so here it is. Pay attention to the Unreality TW please. It gets rough at the end. Aka this is just the animatic I had in my head while listening to the title on repeat. Also I don't intend for the light sides to seen unsymp they're just frustrated like everyone else.

Patton Sanders sits on his bed. He is wearing a blue polo shirt and khakis. He looks contemplative. He is crying.

He stares at his cat hoodie; a gift from a friend of his. One of his bestest friends in the world, actually. 

At least, he thought so. A lot has happened in his world recently, and his friends are quite mad at him.

Maybe he deserves it. He’d been so stressed lately, and he was confused and desperate and he hurt people in the process. 

He hurt Logan. Logan gifted him this hoodie, and tried so so hard to understand Patton’s job and the emotions he couldn’t logic out of. Patton, in return, ignored and talked over him. He, quite literally, skipped over him when he was giving out vital information. 

He hurt Roman. Roman defended and cared for him time after time again, siding with him always. Patton, in return, misled him and choked up and lied. 

He hurt Janus. Janus did his best to protect Thomas. Patton, in return, ridiculed and exiled him.

He hurt Remus. Remus just wanted his ideas to be listened to. Patton, in return, made him what he is today.

He hurt Virgil. Virgil loved him. Patton, in return, sided with the man he hates most.

He is shaking. His throat is clogged and it’s hard to breath. His legs and one of his arms are numb. He couldn’t move if he wanted to. He wants to; his stomach is cramping from not eating. He’s so thirsty. He can’t move. No one has come to check on him. 

Maybe he should go. 

Is this what Virgil felt, all those years ago, when he felt so unloved and unwelcomed that he ducked out? That had made Patton so sad. He had been trying so hard but the other two weren’t trying too hard at all, and Virgil had left. 

Did their progress still count if Patton’s had regressed?

This was what he had been feeling, right? Because he should. This is different, though. They were feeling the same, but the situation was different. Because Virgil was wrong. Because they did want Virgil. 

He should duck out.

“Patton.”

Patton jumps. All the feeling rushes back into his limbs at once and it hurts, so he grabs them with a noise of surprise. He looks up.

Remus Sanders sits at the other end of the bed. He’s holding Patton’s hoodie. He looks sad.

Patton feels his chest contract at the sight of the hoodie in someone else’s hands. He doesn’t move to grab it. 

“What?” His voice cracks. He wants to wipe the tears on his face away. His other hand is still numb. He doesn’t wipe his face. 

“You know what my job is, right?” “I’m aware.” Patton looks down at his lap. “And you know that, Janny’s job, he can use it with everyone else too, not just Thomas?” Patton squeezes his numb arm. It hurts. He knows what Remus is implying. He doesn’t answer.

“I won’t let you.” Patton jumps again. He looks devastated. Eye contact is too much, but he looks up again. “Why do you care? I’ve hurt you. I’ve hurt everyone. Isn't that- isn't that unhealthy? For Thomas?” Remus’ smile is bittersweet. He’s heard this before. “He’s learning. That’s part of it. We have to learn with him.” 

Patton can’t learn. Patton- he- I just mess it all up again, and again and again and I can’t please let me go-

Patton is suddenly very warm. There are arms around his waist, holding firm. He’s pushed snugly into someone’s side, into someone’s shoulder. His arm isn’t immoble now. It twitches in place with the other one. His hoodie is pulled around his shoulders again. He doesn’t deserve it. He starts tearing up again.

“I- Remus, don’t-” “I won’t let you.” “Please, please, I-” “No.” “I-I’ll hurt you again, I’ll do it wrong, you can’t- I don’t deserve it-” “You do. And I’m going to.” 

Patton hiccups. He grips Remus’ shirt and holds tight. He’s not wearing his normal Duke attire. It’s soft. Nice to bury his eyes into.

Patton tries to convince Remus. 

Remus doesn’t let him.

~

Patton Sanders cuts his hand in the kitchen. He makes a noise of pain and pulls his hand out of the sink. Someone left a knife in the soapy water. You’re not supposed to do that.

He grabs his wrist to keep his shaking hand still. He’s cut part way across his palm. The blood drips down back into the water. It spreads. 

He looks around for the first aid kit. It’s on the other side of the kitchen. He looks out into the living room. 

He almost calls out for them.

His….

His acquaintances murmur together. One of them looks back at him. He turns his head to look busy. They don’t notice. 

His hand is still bleeding.

He drips over to the other counter and opens the kit. The wrap around bandages are old enough to be stained yellow. They still work. 

He doesn’t patch it correctly. His hand is shaking too hard and the antiseptic stung bad enough for him to tear up. The bandages keep slipping.

They tint his blood and make it look orange. It should be funny.

He doesn’t laugh.

No, they don’t want to help him.

~

What is happening.

Patton Sanders blinks.

It’s dark. He’s in a forest. Is he? Can’t tell. Very vague.

There’s something big in front of him. He can’t see it. He knows it’s there. 

It’s there.

A black oval surrounded by a circle of orange. There’s two of them. They’re eyes. They’re very, very big eyes. They move up. They keep keep keep moving up. It’s there.

It’s coming for him. It’s coming it’s coming It’s Coming pPLease it’s COMING ITS COMING ITS COMING FORME-

~

Patton Sanders takes a deep breath. They’re all fighting. It’s very loud and they are very angry. 

Thomas Sanders is frustrated and tired. He’s barely listening anymore.

Logan Sanders is communicating ineffectively and he’s angry.

Virgil Sanders isn’t listening and communicating falsehoods and he’s angry.

Romans Sanders is pointing fingers and he’s angry.

Remus Sanders is having the time of his life.

Patton Sanders doesn’t say anything.

Janus Sanders shows up and it gets worse. It gets so much worse. They’re so much more angry.

They’re angry at him. 

He’s trying he’s trying so hard how does he apologize? How he doesn’t know he has to make it up to them. Just sorry isn’t good enough he knows this but what does he do. They’re so mad and they’re so frustrated how does he fix it. He has to fix it he fixes things like this he has to. He has to fix it it’s his fault after all. It’s his fault they’re fighting. It’s his own god damn fault they hate him.

It’s My Fault.

Patton Sanders falls to the ground. Thomas Sanders grabs his chest and yells. Someone else screams. There’s a hand on him. He’s convulsing. It gets thrown off.

It’s coming out of his mouth. He’s throwing it up and there’s so much. He’s crying but it’s coming out of there too. His hand burns. His skin burns in patches but it’s spreading. There’s so much of it. It’s getting everywhere. He’s staining Thomas’ carpet. They’re still yelling and it’s still his name and they sound so scared and so angry why did he do that what is he doing he’s scaring them stop stop it stop.

There’s so much it hurts it hurts so bad Orange it’s all Orange it’s coming out it’s everywhere I can’t breathe i cant breath my hand hurts my hand it ORANGE it’s coming out my skin hurts i cant see it hurts there’s so much so mudchon hdo dhdid hud hdid dhddi ufhids hdody uydgdiuyfg fiurgfiurgfieruf irugfiergfbvcjusy soihdpohiugyft wedguowhnkl fdghjkuytrd rtyuinbgseuigfcykyfxyretdytfkvhjgcfjtdesuxjtghcvbvkuyfdiytuevhxlegrucvoeruyehcvfhvie7tfty3652r9t783o2397125948762947`238g41u3y4gfr76vouyo476fo8ufvcuyfrvfluo743835487212398572370773407734077340773407734077340773407734077340773407734077340773407734077340773407734077340773407734077340773407734̸0̷7̴7̸3̸4̶0̴7̸7̷3̵4̵0̴7̸7̴3̴4̸0̸7̷7̷3̷4̵0̶7̶7̶3̶4̵0̸7̵7̴3̶4̷0̴7̸7̸3̵4̴0̵7̸7̷3̸4̴0̸7̸7̷3̶4̴0̸7̶7̵3̵4̷0̵7̸7̶3̷4̶0̴7̷7̶3̴4̵0̴7̴7̵3̴4̷0̴7̵7̶3̵4̸0̶7̶7̵3̴4̵4̶0̶7̸7̴3̸4̷0̶7̷7̸3̶4̶0̸7̴7̵3̶4̴0̷7̵7̸3̶4̴0̷7̶7̸3̷4̴0̸7̴7̷3̴4̴0̴7̵7̷3̶4̴0̸7̴7̷3̶4̶0̶7̶7̷3̵4̵0̷7̸7̵3̸4̷0̸7̴7̸3̵4̸0̴7̶7̵3̴4̷0̶7̵7̵3̷4̷̘͑0̵̙̀7̶͔̍7̵̥̔3̴̪̌4̷͚̽0̶̼̓7̴̫̈́7̶͈̚3̴̻͋4̷͋ͅ0̵̡̓7̷̚ͅ7̴̣̈3̸̢͒4̴̥͆0̷̫̒7̵̭̈́7̵͈͐3̸̧4̸͖̇0̷̫̊7̴͇̈́7̴̥3̸̻͝4̷̯̈0̵͈̀7̷̗̽7̵͜͝3̵̫̈́4̶̝̉0̵̯̿7̷͓̕7̸̊͜3̸̪͑4̶͕̆0̷̟̈́7̵̻̓7̷̨̈́3̵͛͜4̵͍̎0̸̥͂7̴̹͝7̴̧̑3̸̟̿4̶̡͌0̷̮̆7̵͕͗7̵͇̾3̵̯̔4̵͚̑0̷̢͌7̸͖̍7̸̣͝3̶̙4̶̡̄0̵̞͛7̸̮̒7̴̥̐3̸̻̉4̴͉͒0̷̨̇7̶͈͝7̷̺͋3̷̭͘4̶͖́0̴̬̄7̸̻͋7̵̺͆3̶͐͜4̶͇̋0̷̰͂7̷͇͂7̸̠̓3̵͓͝4̵͍͒0̷̺̈́7̸̰͝7̶̰̿3̴͔̐4̶̠̂0̵̢̅7̵͕7̴͉̈3̷͎̈́4̴̲̆0̷̗͂7̸̥̚7̵̝͗3̵̨̈́4̵̼́0̴̞̕7̵͝ͅ7̸͕͠3̸͓͂4̸̙͛0̷̙̍7̵̙̃7̷̞̓3̴̗́4̶̛̟͍̂̐̋̾̀̾0̵̨̧̛̛̹̠̫͕̜͍̿͋́͐͆̒̆̉7̵̻͚̠̗̈́̆̎͗̽7̸̡̱̘̯͗3̸̞̄̓͂̈͒̄͆͋͌͗̈̑4̸̱̄͊̒̈̑͊̚0̴̰͉͂7̴̧̞̣̮̙͔̬̥̠͔͎͗̇̋͋͂̅͜7̸̛͚̿̒̂̅̔̚͠3̶̨̪̟̣̬̟̙̠̭͒̂̈́̈4̵̡̢̟̯̈́͂0̸̜̗͚̳̥̦̭̰̽̈́͋͛̂̽ͅ7̵̪̮̭̤̺͇͖͐̑ͅ7̴̧̝͕͍̟͖͕̳̙͚̀̑̒̑̂̔̑͊̿̚͠3̵͈̥͉̬̰͇̬̭͎̮̰͈͑̑͂̈̃̀̓̐̏͌̀͘͜4̵̢͕̘̭͙̹͓̊̒͋̒0̸̢̧̖̬͖̜̆͆7̵̙̪͚̞̏͌̄̑̉̓́͛͑7̶̧̛̱̺̊͋̀̎̏͂̃3̷̢̨͈͚̭̗̦̙̙͕̳̰̭̓͊͋̅̐4̴̧̤̫̺̳͇̲̐̎͠0̵̻̻̬̩̰͚̪̖̥͌͒̓̃́͊̂͜͠͠7̴̥̯̲̼̟̃̌͛́̈́̔͂̓̾̆̎́͝7̷̨̡̺̙͚̪̱͊̓͜3̵̦̗͓̦͚͓͈͍̲͖͋͊̐ͅ4̸̞̭̼̫̤̳͔͑͋́̋͑̐̕0̴̨̛͕̙̥͈͖̪͋̃̋̔̈́̒̔̀̇͒̇͑7̷̢̡̬̖̫̯͍̈́̔͜͝7̴̧͔̰̯̹̺͔̍̍3̷̱̺̱̖͉́̔̈́̂͂͒͆̓͘͝4̴̡̛͖͔͙͗̂̒͐̃͑͗̉́́͆0̵̙͍͖̳̃̈́͐̾̔̔̈̕͝͝͝7̷̛̬̮̩̜͕̀̏͐̆̚̚7̴̩̣̰͇̟̥͒̅͋̊̌̒̅͘͝͝͠3̵̟̦̳͓̮̤̺̻̪̗̙͈̀̇̿̒͜͝4̸̢̱̦̺̰̞̱̔͜͝͠ͅ0̸̨̫͚̼̦̂͂͜7̵̧̡̢͓̬̭͕̬̬̗̙͙͐̓͐̂̎̽ͅ7̴̨̗̗̳͈͍̜̹̞͇̠̿̊̋3̶̮͛͊́́̽̑̀̿̕4̷͙̹̝̆0̴̡̨̝̩̣̱̻̼͈7̶͔̭̉̿̅̏̃͘7̵̟̳͙̯̺͚̐ͅ3̸̨̖̏̌̈͆4̷̠͙͈̍̑́͘0̷̯̙̰̰͔̊̂7̴͙̣̬̭̝̓͋̆̔̋̈́͜͜7̵̹͉͌͗͋3̷̙̃̊̂̆̀͒̾̚̕4̷͓̻͈͕͙̙̹̘̱̱͗̈́̚̚̕͠͠0̸̪̫̫̦͓̭͋͌̋͐̽͑̈́͛̊̌̎͜͝7̶͚͎̱͔̺̐͂̇̐̈́̌̉̀͝ͅ7̷̡̿̌̊3̷͈̬̜̪̜̪̩̳͉̰̂̈̌̿̓͜ͅ4̸̖̼̆ͅ0̶̧̢̢̭͈͕̬͉̪̮̌̑̊̌͑̈́̓̽7̸̖̓̅̓͒͛͒̑͘͜͠͝ͅ7̶̮͔̱͎̻͖͗͋͊̚̚͘͠͠ͅ3̴̜̬̟͗̆̿̔̈̓̾4̵̧̧͔̞͎͕̫̉̽̇͑̂̿̎̏͘ͅ0̷͚͒̐̈́̉̈͛̀͒̈́͘͘7̵͇̥̦̫͈̫͍̺̣̖͌̊̃̎̎͋͌͘̕ͅ7̷̛̲̬̥͎̯͙̮͖͛͗̆͋̅͋͝3̸̨̘̮̣̣̯̻̼̗͖̝̏̂͛̀͌4̴̧̢̙̙͔̞̠͈̙̱͑̒͐͗̈̂̋́͌̈́͝0̶͚̗̩͇̋̾7̶̺̱͓͓̯̒́͂͒͐̐̃̈́͂͝7̴͙͍̠̜̰͌́̓̓̆̀̈̃͂̾̂͝͝3̷̡̱̱̠͓̳̖̬̜̪̟̳͒̉͆̈͋̃̒̔̚͠4̵̧̠̥͇̬̱͚̮̬͚͕̙̓0̵̨̨̜̭̻̻̲̮̠̲̖̂̏̐͂͒͌̉̐̋͝͝7̶͇͚͓͔̗̞̯͉̓͐̉̿͠7̴̟̠̮̞̤̺̬̺̝̳̪͈̔͐̋͂͝3̵̛͉͙̙̪̬̬̑̍͝4̷̛̖̬̙͖̙̲̟̂  
̴̺̳͉̥̤͎̫͓͓̂̀̍̃̓̑

Hello.

**Author's Note:**

> I, personally, think the idea of Patton being orange side instead of Logan/Roman is uh,,,, neat :)


End file.
